How Jeremiah made me a mom.

On the very hot summer day , I saw those two little lines on an oddly peach colored  pee stick . In that moment I became a mother .

My whole body, my whole being was invested in growing this human.

I was a mother.


A little less than nine months later , in the middle of the night , I woke Travis .

It was time.

The contractions were intense. I focused on the stained glass on the ceiling . Travis coached me through , my mom was on a plane on her way, and my mother in law spooned me ice chips .

This was it, I thought .

You were finally going to be in my arms.

You are about to make me a mother .

One more push and there you were , naked,slick,screaming, and totally cute.

You snuggled on my chest , we were taking each other in.

We all were crying,you were so beautiful and perfect.

And we named you Jeremiah.

YAHWEH has uplifted

In that moment, you made me a mom.

Of course, I dressed you,changed you, fed you , snuggled you for as long as you'd let me.

Oh Jeremiah ,you made me a mom.

I've watched you grow from an itty bitty 4 pounds 8 ounces to a healthy and wonderful little toddler.

I saw you roll over for the first time.

I saw your first smile .

I saw you standing in your crib, waiting with a smile , looking so proud .

I get to see how mischievous smile when you cause trouble .

You made me a mom .

I really thought I would spend my life as a mom teaching you .

But I was wrong .

You've spent your first year teaching me.

Seeing all kinds of needles ,tubes and oxygen going into your body , you've taught me to be brave .

Seeing you through blood draws and blood transfusions , you've taught me to let nothing keep you down .

Jeremiah , I am so thankful that our God gave me to you .

I get to be your mom .

I get to hold you when you fall down.

I get to get you ready for your first day of school

I get to watch you play sports .

I get to deal with your teenage boy years .

I get to watch you marry and have children of your own

I get to see you make your dreams come true .

I get to see you love and follow Jesus .


I just love being your mom .


And I love you .

Other Mothers

Other Mothers

I remember the day we announced our pregancy with Jeremiah , it was such a joyful time for us. We were newlyweds, we were excited, and we had absolutely no idea what we were doing . I remember receiving so much wonderful advice and wisdom from men and women who cared for us . Most of whom were once young parents themselves, they wanted to impart any guidance in the journey we were about to take. Travis and I greatly appreciated this advice , we listened with open hearts and minds. I was thankful for wisdom, in the ten months I have been a mom I had hidden that advice in my heart and mind and applied it to myself and how I mother Jeremiah . However , when you are sick and pukey , you read a lot about babies . I read about everyone's opions, I read about breastfeeding , attachment parenting, cloth diapering, disposable diapers, co sleeping, CIO, swaddling , cribs,pacifiers , homemade baby food, formula , pre and post natal yoga, eating one's placenta,inducing labor or spontaneous labor. I pretty much read everything, we decided as a couple what would and wouldn't work for us , that was fairly easy .I will tell you what wasn't easy , reading and hearing about what was right and if you didn't do it that way, you were a horrible parent. I had someone tell me if we used a baby bjorn carrier that our son would have hip dysplaysia, people questioned if our son was conceived before our wedding ( yes, someone had the nerve to ask, and in case you were wondering he was not!) , I was told that if I didn't have a natrual birth that wasn't that much of woman, I was told that if I didn't breastfeed my baby I wasn't mom enough . I was appalled, I had to see if this was a thing, did mothers go around to other mothers telling them "the way" to do things and if it wasn't that way, than you are a total failure . I was shocked at how mean women are to each other , instead of coming alongside a young mom who needs encouragement and support, we set them up for failure. I think that most moms feel insecure , I know that I do at times, so sometimes moms feel the need to bully other moms so we feel the need to make ourselves feel bigger while making someone else feel smaller. Why can't we as mothers simply come together and encourage one another,no matter what we choose to do as parents.

Moms, please encourage one another! If you see a mom who is tired and worn out, tell her it sit down ! Bring her dinner, pay for her coffee, hold her baby so she can sleep, take her young kids to the park so she can pee in peace.



-Autumn

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.


1 Thessalonians 5:11

I've got a lot

As many of you know, Jeremiah was diagnosed with a blood disorder in May.  Besides his red blood cell count being low, needing monthly blood transfusions, and being slightly (just slightly) behind his peers when it comes to physical development he is a very healthy, very happy boy! Every five weeks or so, we go to Phoenix Children’s Hospital, we wait in the waiting room, Jeremiah has a blood draw and gets in IV. We wait in the infusion area, we get blood, and we go home. Our life goes on quite happily and I am very, very grateful. But when you are in an Oncology/Hematology department, there are a lot of things you see that break your heart. You see little toddlers and juniors in high school cuddled up in a blanket near their parents as chemo runs in their veins. You see bald little girls and bald little boys with tired and worried parents. You see kids check themselves in because they live in the Ronald McDonald house; you see them doing their homework they get from the school next door because they can’t go to regular school. Their best friends are doctors, nurses and volunteers. You see two 19 year olds with their itty-bitty baby getting plasma.

And you realize… that you got a lot, a good lot.

Thank you Jesus for the lot you’ve given me.

Where you go, I will follow : a little on my transition back to America.

Transition

Two years ago when Travis professed his love ( he didn't say love, but we both knew what he was talking about :) ) he told me that he was called to be on the mission field and he knew that I would go anywhere . It's true, I would go anywhere , I lived in Romania for six years and then in Kurdistan for three years . Those transitions weren't easy, but I had been a missionary kid so I was well aware of culture shock and transitioning to a foreign culture. But going back to America has always been odd, I felt that I should fit right in, but I never did. I had friends, good friends in fact , but I always  came in at awkward times , I was always 3-5 years behind in fashion, I never stayed long enough to truly get involved. I always had fun in America, we joked that it was like a three month long trip to Disneyland. But there was a daily reminder that I didn't get that pop culture joke, or I had never heard of that artist, I eventually accepted my weirdness and accepted that I was a missionary kid and not your run of the mill American teenager.

Fast forward two years , I am 21 years old ,married and 6 months pregnant, I had packed up my life in Budapest, Hungary with my husband to move to surbubia Surprise,Arizona. My life completely changed , I left my house at 7am and didn't get home until 4:30. I had to keep my house tidy,dinner had to be made, lunch prepped , the toilets scrubbed. I freaked out.
Months later, my son was born, I left my house at 6:40 got home at sometimes as late as 5. Dinner still had to be cooked,the house needed order, Jeremiah was hungry, Travis needed to be picked up. I freaked out.
This transition to America has been the hardest I have ever experienced, I've experienced loneliness and sadness like never before . It's been frustrating because there has been no reason for it and also becaus culture shock has never hit me this hard. So I spent a lot of my time yearning for Europe, I wanted to get out . I wanted to not know the language , I wanted to take public transportation, I want to search for a random ingredient at the store. I miss the rich culture and history , I missed the trendy and unique restaurants. I missed everything and I felt hopeless because I knew that I would not be returning anytime soon. A few weeks ago I was reminded that I was the woman who followed The Lord, the woman who followed her husband . And as I had been called to be that woman, I had to be faithful to follow my husband to the mission field of America . The Lord has called us here with a purpose in mid and if that requires me to get uncomfortable and be a light in America,than that is what I need to do.

Jesus be my strength.

The reason and not the excuse...a word about my new mom body.

The reason and not the excuse ...a few words on the "mom" body.

Before I got pregnant , I had the body of the average woman. I was 5'4,145 pounds and a size 8-10( depending on the store). I have always had body image issues, many of my friends weighed less and were a few inches taller , they had incredible genes which gave them an incredible metabolism. I was pretty jealous until I went to college and got to busy and I focused my mind on Jesus rather than being in vain about my body . A year and a half later , I was married, I had lost about 5 lbs before my wedding because I was busy with school and spent a lot of time on my feet. Three weeks after my wedding , I got pregnant and for the first few months I gained hardly anything . And then we moved to America just in time for the holidays...and thus started the downward slope. The day I gave birth to Jeremiah, I weighed in at ( inhale) 210 pounds... I wanted to sob. Now here I am three months later at 180, and I still avoid cameras,mirrors and shopping . I hate my body. I miss not having love handles . I miss my flat tummy. I just miss my old body

Now.

I would not trade my son for anything, no amount of stretch marks can make me wish his smiles away. No ache could make me wish the sparkle in his eyes when he discovers away. I know my body will never fully be the same, and I am still coming to terms with this , but that does not need to be the excuse. It needs to be the reason

But I am done with my current state , I want to be healthy and strong. I want to be proud of this masterpiece that God has created. I want my son to know that eating healthy is to be a way of life and not a passing fad. I want him to know that by exercising and putting good things in our bodies,we are honoring our temple.

I have never been a fan of sharing workouts on Facebook , I follow the rule of "unless you fell down on the treadmill, I really don't want to hear about it". But I do want to share my progress and I want this endeavor to be God- honoring, I want to share my progress because I want to be kept accountable and I want and need encouragement in this journey. If any of you want to be my accountability partner, please let me know. As for diet, I am going to eat crazy stuff like chia seeds and flax, I'll eat loads of fruits and veggies, I am going to cut out processed junk as much as possible and when I do have a treat, it'll be homemade. I am not interested in any fad diet . Just good ol' fashioned good eating and getting my lazy booty off the couch!


Thanks for your support !

Much love,

Autumn

The Best Kid Ever : Jeremiah

Jeremiah

So, many of you have been asking about Jeremiah and his condition , I want to describe his condition so you know exactly what he has and how you can pray for Him ! But first I want to tell you about Jeremiah and the fact that we are positive we have the best kid ever !

Jeremiah loves
His play-mat that Grandma and Grandpa Wallace got him , he loves kicking the piano keyboard.
He recently has started this obsession with silky and fuzzy blankets, he loves the burp rags that his Auntie Em and Grandma Keenan made him!
He loves playing patty cake! I shouldn't be surprise because cake is his Daddy's favorite food.
He loves it when Dax licks his face...they will be good buds!
He has started to stand and he loves this new vantage point
Hanging out in the pool with grandpa.

Jeremiah dislikes

Taking baths.
Putting on lotion.
Anything that involves hygiene really, typical boy !
Being with mom after 7:30pm, he gets bored with me and needs his daddy!
 When a fan doesn't work or isn't turned on!

Jeremiah has more loves than hates, my little boy loves life and he is so full of joy! In fact he is really good at spreading that joy, I babies have that gift, I believe it is a God-given gift. Every day I look at my son and I am in awe, Travis and I cannot imagine our lives without him.We both agree that he is the best surprise we've ever had!
A lot of you are asking about his blood transfusions and his condition. Jeremiah was diagnosed at 6 weeks with Hereditary Spheryophytosis, this is a blood disorder where his RBCs( red blood cells) are oblong where they should be shaped like doughnuts. It is because of this that the RBCs break down and he gets very anemic,thus the need for blood transfusion. Jeremiah goes to Phoenix Children's Hospital every 2-3 weeks or so, he has an amazing team of doctors and nurses that know and love him. He is rather popular :) A blood transfusion itself isn't really painful, although getting an IV is really awful, but PCH has a really,really good IV team. A blood transfusion takes about three hours and he is usually sleeping for most of it. Another question we are asked often is if his spleen needs to be removed , the answer ? Time will tell, it is because we caught this early on and he is getting frequent blood transfusions ,his spleen isn't being overworked. In most cases,kids are diagnosed until they are 2-5 so by that time their spleen is just overworked and done. However, we are told that if they can wait until after puberty the problem just corrects itself! We are hoping we get to wait until then or that he will be healed of it completely ! We know this is possible because my husband stopped showing signs at 3! I firmly believe that Jesus can heal my son, because he is the Great Physician and all-powerful. But I also believe that Jesus is using my son in a mighty way in that hospital ,having there on a fairly consistent basis means that we have the opportunity to talk about our lives and our relationship with Jesus!
So, I want to ask for your prayer for our family, please pray that Jeremiah's strength would be increased. Please pray that the medical staff would ask questions and be interested in our life. Pray for God's grace as we accept His will and plan for our life as a couple, as a family and for Jeremiah .

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Much love,

Autumn  

The Parent

Parenting 

( disclaimer - Travis and I discuss any peice of advice we receive, however parenting is different for everyone , so I hope you won't think I am close minded just some methods wouldn't work for us as a couple and as a family unit )

Being a parent is hard . Being a young parent is  nerve-wracking. Being a first time parent is stressful and confusing. Everywhere you turn there is someone telling you that you're doing it wrong . There have been days where I will be questioning my intelligence or competence because of some comment someone made about a decision I've made as a parent. I can honestly say I've ended most of my days asking myself "do people think I am an idiot?!?" But I've learned something ... Parenting has changed over the years. I have had conversations with my mom and my grandma in law,  the things they did 20 and 50 years , I questioned how we survived . Our grandmas added honey to baby cereal, and they would start giving baby cereal at 6 weeks !! But that's how parenting is, it changes and shifts over time .  

Now, in my generation of parenting, they are saying that those cereals aren't the best option, gluten should be avoided!   I've done research on the subject and I will say that we don't plan to give Jeremiah cereals, we will start with an avocado . Am I worried what people will think and say ? You bet! But I feel that is the best option for our son. As a parent you have to be confidence and pray that you are following God's leading in you being a parent. The way we will discipline and train our son  will differ from the way  that you might have taught your kids and that's okay because that you are you! In fact, I am thankful that not all parents are the same... It keeps things interesting and I like interesting.

So, my advice dear reader... To the new parent, keep your hearts and minds open there is some true wisdom out there. To the veteran parent, keep in mind that there are some new-fangled ( and crazy, I'll admit) ideas in parenting, bear with us, we are just learning and we need your encouragement to just love in the best way we can and of course to just keep our ears open for Jesus.

A little on life ...

A little on life.

Three months later and here I am ! Obviously I've been a little tied up with life recently ( going to bed with dishes done is considered a victory these days). To start I gave birth to Jeremiah three months and two days ago ,even now he is an absolute joy to us , he fills our days with smiles and he is very talkative , he loves his mobile and his baby gym and oh, he loves Dax too!  And he is basically sleeping through the night! THANK YOU JESUS! He was diagnosed with Hereditary Spheryophytosis ( say that three times fast! And there will be more on that later)  he's had 4 blood transfusions and he is adored by all the nurses , his official nick name is Peanut. He is a trooper and frankly just awesome ... I might be a little bias though !  

We celebrated our one year anniversary , which was amazing ! Travis surprised me with a weekend at the Westin in Scottsdale . We had an amazing view and I was reminded how beautiful the desert can be! We spent our weekend in the lazy river and eating good food ...and shopping ! My awesome in laws loved on Jeremiah for the whole weekend !  My husband is the best and it was wonderful to have a away to just get away and be together. Travis is just the bomb :)

My best friend, Pauli Dill---Wear got married and I was one of her bridesmaids! It so fun to see he get married to a wonderful man and send her off into the adventure of marriage! 

My sister graduated from high school last week and so we are able to attend her party and I was able to see old friends and show off my sweet family :) we also got to get gelato with a bunch of friends from bible college , most of us are married and have started families. God is so faithful with blessing his children :)

These past few months have been busy, but overflowing with God's faithfulness and love for me ! I have been reminded of this new life he has gifted Travis and I with, it's a little scary but totally exciting!

My Birth Story

Well,has many of you know, my sweet little boy Jeremiah arrived last Sunday! It was the second best day of my life and for the last few days I have been mulling it over in my mind on how to share my birth story with you all. It was such a beautiful experience and really, for lack of a better word, miraculous .

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling really anxious and excited ! Travis was going to be out of the house, so I took the opportunity to scrub my house spotless !  You would think that I would have taken this as sign of impending labor,  but I just saw it as me needing to clean my house! In the afternoon, we went on two mile walk, after getting back I was feeling some pain in my lower back, I thought I pulled something, but as the night went on , the pain got worse and walking around  became nearly impossible , but I wasn't having any contractions , so I took a bath (which helped) and then I went to bed.

Around 1 AM,I woke up with contractions,  so I walked around for a few minutes and the pain worsened , so I went to Jeremiah's room and rocked in my glider , which felt good. But I noticed the pain was getting rhythmic, so I texted my mother in law for a second opinion . She told me to start timing them, although she was thoroughly convinced I was in labor . After about a half hour, they were coming every 3 minutes and lasting about a minute long. So I attempted to wake up Travis ...that took a few tries ...and I started to gather up e last minute things for the hospital bag. Travis woke up and his mom was on his way over. I couldn't believer that this was actually it ! I was having a baby !

When we arrived at the hospital , I don't think the nurses believed I was in labor ! Simple breathing techniques were getting me through contractions and I was joking in between ! Once I was in triage , the nurse asked me a myriad of questions , the machine was not picking up my contractions, and finally she checked to see how dilated I was . Her eyes got huge and said "I am glad you're not standing because you aren't going to believe how you've progressed !" ( my last appointment on Thursday, I was almost completely effaced and I was 4 cm dilated). I called my mom and told her i was being admitted, and she basically got on a flight right away!  I was pretty much rushed to a delivery room and I was monitored for forty minutes ( in case you didn't know, laboring lying down is SUPER uncomfortable ) I was able to go into the jet tub, which was amazing, I was finally able to relax , I was feeling pretty nervous and shaky so the water just allowed me to pull myself together ! I had to get out and be monitored again , I decided I wanted to get on the birthing ball, which helped get my little man in the right position for birth.  After a fee minutes, I met the on call doctor, I wish i could have met him before i was in labor because he was really funny, but it is hard to laugh at jokes when you're just about to give birth ! The decided  to break my water so it would speed things along, but Jeremiah's head  was so low that he could barely poke a hole !  oh well, he tried...

My contractions were getting more intense, but I could still converse in between, my wonderful nurse couldn't believe that I was as calm as I was for being in transition ! She checked me again, and I was at 9 centimeters, my back labor was getting super intense . Whenever I had a contraction, I had Travis massage my low back, which helped counter the back pain. The nurse suggested I get on my hands and knees to relieve the pressure, as soon as I did I felt like I needed to push, so I rolled over ( um, ow) and she checked me and I was still at a nine.  They needed to monitor Jeremiah's heartbeat, so I laid on my side while they made sure he was doing well. At this point, I was feeling miserable,  and I  knew that I was going to meet my little man soon!

I got on my hands and knees and then the most intense pain I had felt all night ! I said that I needed to push , so the nurse checked me again and said " oh yeah , he's right there !" Then everything started to go really fast... Well not fast enough, people started coming in, I told Travis that they needed to hurry because I couldn't wait much longer ! 

Before I go on, I just want to say how awesome my husband was ! He knew exactly what I needed and he knew that I needed to feel relaxed, he kept his cool. My mother in law, was amazing as well, she was super fast at eating me those ice chips, which are a life saver, let me tell you !

So, pushing didn't really hurt too much, it was just a lot of work !! About half way through , I was ready to give up ! But I was spooned more ice cups and the nurse gave me some oxygen which made me feel like a new woman ! The doctor that delivered Jeremiah was a doctor that I had never met before, but he was a hoot! Before meeting him, all of the nurses told us that he was always cracking jokes, and I appreciate humor, and in my case I was using no drugs, so it got my mind off the pain and on to the joke. Anyways... now that you have that story... I can go on.
So the top of Jeremiah's head was making it's appearance, and suddenly everyone started laughing. I was really confused because here I am ... you know, pushing and then everyone is dying of laughter! I was like " What is so funny??' between a few breaths of oxygen. My husband said, "Jeremiah is getting his first fohawk!" My doctor was giving my son a fohawk while he was crowning! No matter how exhausted I was, I had to laugh at that... too funny.

The doctor was worried about tearing, so he gave me an epistiomy and a few more pushes and his head was out.  The doctor then took my hands and placed them on my son and I pulled him out and onto my chest .

Moments after cuddling on me, his cries subsided, and just looked at me.He was perfect, he had his dad's face but it was shared with  my nose and lips. The overwhelming feeling of love just washed over me, I looked at Travis for the first time and I could see that he felt the same way, we had a son.  We had everything. We were truly a family .

A few thoughts from a very pregnant lady ...

From the ipad mini of a 36 week pregnant lady ...

1.I'm ready for this baby to come ...now.
2. I'm ready to burn my jeans ... If socially acceptable, I'd wear my thick maternity tights , tank tops and cardigans all day.
3. In the words of Lucille Ball "My center of gravity has shifted a little!"
4. I'm really sick of peeing .
5. Though I feel pretty great, I'm done with being pregnant .
6. I want all of the sushi.
7. I have lived my life thinking that I am not creative... I was then reminded that I've been building a human being for 8 months ....that's pretty creative if you ask me.
8. I have 4 more weeks to go...boo ya!

Happy Tuesday Everyone !

Love ,
Autumn

Remembering Jeremiah

It was one year ago that I received the most horrific phone call, my parents telling me that our friend , Jeremiah Small had been shot and killed by one of his students that very morning. I am thankful to this day that Travis was there as I sobbed through the conversation and prayer , lifting up both Jeremiah and Bayar's family and friends. I had dozens of questions that were unanswered;" Lord, why Jeremiah? Why a man who had devoted his life to these students?"" He was so young ,Lord!" " Lord, his family, how could you allow this to happen to his family?" "Did his death need to be so tragic,Lord?" " Lord, he was so young!". In the days that followed, my heart grieved with literally, hundreds of people and the nation of Kurdistan, I found myself comforted by two things . That Jeremiah was finally, Home in the arms of His Savior that he had loved so much and that his death had not come as a surprise to The Lord, that from the very moment that He had said "Let there be Light!" , God knew what and when Jeremiah's first and last breaths would be. I was reminded by The Lord that Jeremiah's death was a homecoming of a saint ! He had not been taken too early because Jeremiah had lived his life faithfully as a bond servant for Christ , although it is difficult for us who knew him to agree, Jeremiah had finished his work on earth, and it was time for him to go home.
Today as I remember Jeremiah, the song "In Christ Alone" by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend comes to mind, probably because it reminds me of the hymns that Jeremiah had committed to memory, in fact his love for hymns inspired me to familiarize myself with these age old words.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Although the entire song is a song of victory , it is the last stanza that reminds me of Jeremiah's passing from this earth and entering into his eternal home. In fact, this song is a comfort to me everyday , knowing that I can never,ever be plucked from the hands of my Savior , even in my leaving from this earth, there is not a millisecond that I am out of His will.

So friends, I ask that you remember those who are still grieving, please pray for the comfort of the Small family, Bayar's family, Jeremiah's students, the staff who are still in Kurdistan serving at the school.

- Autumn


Lyrics by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend, 2001.

14/02/2013

Valentines Day has always been a happy day for me, single or not, I did my best to be completely satisfied in any situation !  I realized that many people went on dates any other day of the year and it didn't bother me then, so why should it bother me on February 14th? Until my parents moved after high school , my parents would give us kids a small gift , my mom made us candy and my dad would give us girls flowers. In my single high school years, my best girlfriends and I would go out to dinner and then hang out for the evening , sometimes some guys would come over, we made s'mores and just hung out , no one hooked up,  we all had a pure good time together. When I did have a Valentine in high school, those times were fun too! I mean it was dinner and chocolate , who could say no to that !?! Last year , when Travis and I were engaged, Travis got up at an ungodly hour and he made me breakfast and set up a table with candles, it was amazing and then he left soon after on apartment hunt ! I spent the day wondering what my future home would look like, he came back the next day triumphant with the perfect place, I was elated . Not many girls can say that they got an apartment for Valentines day !
This year, we are married , living in America , with a baby on the way , we both have jobs. I kiss him good bye at 7:15 and I don't him again until 5. Today was not much different, and in fact he has a Valentines Day Gala for work that he is doing, and although I get to go, it's a little different than the traditional dinner out. To be honest , I am excited, I love watching him work, he is very good at his job and it is blessing for me to hear all of the residents talk about what a wonderful,gifted and sweet man my husband is. Although I know all of these things to be true because he exemplifies these qualities at home, it's a blessing for me as his wife hear such things of the man I get to spend life with !  Regardless of the business of today , my husband brought me a beautiful arrangement of flowers and my favorite Australian licorice! His gift is in the mail...somewhere ... :)
Although we couldn't do a valentines day breakfast in bed, or take a long leisurely walk on the beach, or gaze into each others eyes all day and flirt over a candle light dinner. The love that we share goes beyond those things, and thankfully I can share those things and make those memories every day. If you know me, you know that I will want to share with you how today reminds me of the ultimate Valentine. Thankfully, Jesus is a better lover than myself, he never disappoints, and He forgives my daily failures, and he is not a better lover on any specific day of the year, he is perfect and consistent all the time. What an example of a lover we have as believers ! I want to encourage all of you to take a look at Jesus and His perfect,undying love that has lasted and will last through the ages, and love those around you with that same love.


 "In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

- Exodus 15:13

Calling all Mommies !Help Wanted !

Hello Everyone !

So as the day where I become a mother draws near, I find myself wondering if I have enough of this, or if I really need to buy that one thing that everyone says I need! I had a wonderful baby shower last weekend and I got loads or adorable baby clothes and a few other necessities, but I know that I need a few other items such onesies, a dresser, a boppy pillow, sleeping gowns, cloth diapers... The list could easily go on! Anyways, is like to ask you moms ( words of daddy wisdom are more than welcome too, I'll pass them on to Travis !)  to either comment or Facebook message me the items that you could not have lived without when you had your babies !
This fresh,new mom would appreciate it !

Much Love,

Autumn

From one new wife to another ...

One newlywed from another.

It has been just about seven months since I entered marital bliss, and although I am no where near to being a pro at marriage or being a wife , I know plenty of people getting married this year and though I have not been at this for a while, I have this need to impart some of the things that I have learned and still am learning!
I would consider myself a young bride, less than a month after I left my teenage years, Travis and I got engaged , and then six months into my 20s I was a married woman. I had this whole picture of what kind of wife I was going to be, and although I knew that my marriage would not be perfect by any means , I had this picture in my mind , it was a pretty picture.   I was going to be super organized,  an immaculate housewife , positive, cute and adorable all of the time . After our honeymoon and when I started summer school, I was hit with the fact that picture was not reality , and I would not have wanted it to be, to be honest the picture I had of myself and of my marriage was well, cookie cutter and a little boring ! Now , I do not mean to say that being those things are bad, of course I desire to be a great wife, of course I desire to be a wise spender of my time, and always full of positive things , I pray for those traits in my life . However , I am not perfect and Travis does not want me to be, I learned that my husband would much rather spend quality time with him before the house is spotless, he would much rather have a confidant me than a perfectly made up me !   Travis loves it when I am spontaneous in the kitchen , and he loves watching my creativity , he prefers seeing this side of me before seeing the overly organized and anal to our menu plan. Travis loves me and the reality of me is that I am never perfect, not always organized , and dishes will be in the sink .
 No matter how wonderful you fiancé is , I promise you that there will be days where you  will want to strangle him, should you ? Never ! But will you momentarily think about it ? Yes. Your husbands will do something that will hurt your feelings, he'll be late for dinner ( or tell you last minute to cancel), or he may not  text or call you all day long when you needed him, he may not be doing anything wrong but he will make you mad. When that happens, you need to take a take back and deep breath. Sometimes when I have gotten upset because I felt ignored and I lash out at my husband , I come to find out that he is simply working very hard and because he is responsible he wants to be an example he does not like to use his phone for personal reason at work . Wow, it is in those moments that I feel like a complete selfish idiot . In most of these cases where I feel hurt , it's because I am being totally selfish and I am blinded by my own emotions to think clearly.
And ladies , you will fight, you will be seething , you'll cry a ridiculous amount of anger tears , but after that fight and you've made up, you will have learned so much about this man you've married , and it will be awesome . I promise .
A word from someone who knows, don't make too many set in stone plans. Because if you haven't learned already from your own walk, God has other plans that usually do coerce with yours. I did not plan to spend the first year of newlywed bliss growing a human being, I also did not plan moving to a different country either. As incredible as these blessings are , I had a really difficult time with them at first because I was still clutching on to the things that I had planned.
And lastly, love on your husbands, never hold back a smile, don't hesitate to snuggle up into his arms, listen when he talks ( I'm not talking about the important stuff he has to tell you, but listen to the normal stuff ) and let him love on you ! If he wants to play with your hair ( in my case Travis likes to knot it ) if he wants to spoil you, don't tell him not to waste money on you , if he tells you that you are beautiful , believe him. Your marriage will be sweeter because of it .

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
- Genesis 2:18

Jeremiah Scott

Last Sunday the fact that I am going to have a son really hit me, it took about ten other people to ask us what we were having. It has finally gotten to me that this little person, this little one pound life that has listening ears, a moving body and a beating heart, is more than just life inside of me, it's my son, my little boy! Whoa. Allow this preggo a few tears of pure happiness.

People ask us what we are going to name him, I like letting Travis answer, he sounds so happy and so proud when he says "Jeremiah Scott!". Side note, I have fallen in love with Travis so much just by watching him as an expectant father, it's pretty incredible! Most people don't ask where the name came from, so I wanted to just write and tell you all, because it also plays a part in my entire pregnancy. Travis and I had no problem choosing names, in fact we decided before we officially found out we were pregnant, literally we threw around a few names and decided on two before we got home from a trip to the market down the street. It would be Abigail Joe if it was a girl, and Jeremiah Scott if it was a boy. We loved our girl name, come on, Abigail means "My Father Rejoices", how sweet and precious is that?!?! But there was something about Jeremiah that meant a lot to us as a couple.
     Last summer, when we first started dating, we just so happened to be reading through the book of Jeremiah together. That book spoke to us concerning our future ministry together, and it gave us a lot of courage as two young people starting out in life and in ministry. Jeremiah means " God will raise up", we both thought that would be a great name if we ever had a son, after a busy semester and getting engaged that December, we both forgot about it. Until, of course that life changing moment when Travis causually brought up the idea that I could be pregnant. The day after we officially found out we were pregnant, I was doing one of my online classes, and the whole class was taught by various teachers and pastors, and today was Jon Courson, a pastor that I love. After an opening prayer, I heard the words " Please turn to Jeremiah 1..." within minutes of the sermon, I was in tears.  Pastor Jon talked about how Jeremiah was not only called to be a prophet, but he had been called before he was knit in the womb. It was at that moment I knew two things , 1) Jeremiah was most definately was the name and 2) I was carrying a boy.
      Travis and I have chosen Jeremiah 1:5 as our son's verse , it says

                          “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
                             Before you were born I sanctified you;
                                 I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

We want our son to grow up to be a man of God, a man of integrity, and a man that is willing to do anything that His Lord asks of him, we also want our son to answer to the calling that God will lay on his life. We would like you to pray for Travis and I as we step into this adventure of parenthood. Please pray for us that we would be examples to our son, that we would take every step along the way in prayer!

Much love,

Autumn 

The Content Heart

       

"Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,

And for His wonderful works to the children of men! Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,And praise Him in the company of the elders" - Psalm 107:31-32 

It is 6:55 in the morning on Thanksgiving Day and I have been wide awake since 5:30. I have learned to spend these mornings to spend with Jesus. My bible opened to there was a book mark from my psalms class that I had just finished and it was Psalm 107. Which just happens to be about thankfulness, as I read this psalm I was reminded about all of things that I should be thankful for. Of course I am thankful for Travis, our baby on the way, our combined families, our "family" in Hungary, the total blessing of Travis' having a job , the home that we get to live in, the car we have to drive. All of these things are incredibly awesome, and I am deeply thankful for them. But as I read Psalm 107, I was reminded to be thankful for the LORD. I was reminded to be thankful for His power, for His goodness, for His sacrifice, for His mercy, the list goes on and on. Thanksgiving is a busy day, some may have to travel far, or go to several different places in order to spend the day with our whole families, and it's easy to get caught up in the moment of being busy and then suddenly Thanksgiving is over, we have totally forgotten to be thankful for anything. And then our minds fly to Christmas, and we begin to device our Christmas lists, our menus, and who we are going to visit, the cycle continues. I grew up on the mission field, and I spent every Thanksgiving with at least 30 other believers, we spent all day fellowshipping, eating, and then we made a point to prayer and to just be thankful. I want to encourage you to do that today, if you can before you have to get busy just pray, and be thankful for the LORD and who HE is in your life or you can pray before you go to bed and reflect on those things. 
       Now, as you may be wondering why I titled this blog " The Content Heart", you're about to find out. I have learned that a thankful heart springs up from a content heart. I now that I am guilty of dwelling on the things that I do not have, which really is super dumb. Which afore mentioned in the paragraph above, I have so very much. Everyone in the world is in want of something, some of you really want to leave mom and dad's and have a place of your own, some of you really want to be married right now, some of you really want to have kids right now. And as awesome as these things really are, it is best to just sit back and have a content heart. Now, this is coming from someone who had several major changes of seasons in just the course of one year, I got engaged,married,pregnant and I moved countries all before my 21st birthday. I had to learn to be content in the season I was in because I knew that it was going to be changing very soon. Of course I have had( and I still do) moments where I am uncontent where I am, and that is when I discover that my heart is not thankful and get grumbly and my heart gets gross. 
So, today I really want to challenge all of you to reflect on the Lord, and ask Him to reveal Himself to you so that you will know all of the things that you have to be thankful for. I also challenge you to be content in the season that you are in RIGHT now. And I want you to know that I will be challenging myself with this as well, I have about four more months until this baby gets here, so four more months until it is no longer just Travis & I , we will have a child of our own ( whoa, crazy). So I am thankful for the days I have when it is just us, and I steeped myself in this very short season I have left of this.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving !

Love,

Autumn

Leaving

       It is Wednesday, November 7th and my husband and I are leaving Hungary in 10 days.  As excited as I am about the move, the change of seasons, and the bundle of excitement that awaits us, I can't help but feel a little weepy and sad. I have lived in Hungary for nearly two years, and the Lord has changed my life in every way possible. When I think about the 19 year old that came to Hungary on February 3rd, I hardly recognize her. Her heart was in a totally different place, her own hopeful dreams could not have even begun to conjure up the plans that the Lord had for me. I cannot even begin to express the thankfulness I feel towards the Lord for all the changes He has brought to my life in two years. If you would have told me two years ago today that I would be a married woman and an expectant mother living in Budapest, Hungary, I would have laughed at your. My life was not heading in that direction, but as we know...the Lord has many other plans for His beloved.

       I know many of you were aware of our move to Arizona, but for those of you who were not, allow me to tell you about the biggest decision that Travis & I have made as a couple (besides getting married that is :)) it was about two weeks after arriving from our honeymoon, our home was broken in to and Travis had been acting weird. After our morning devotion time, Travis told me that he felt the Lord calling us back to his home in Arizona for a season. But he wanted to pray about it for a month and see what the Lord spoke to us about it. We prayed and waited a month; we both felt that it was our time to go home. We were not really surprised about this decision; we had both felt that our season in Hungary would not be a long one, ever since Travis and I started talking about marriage and ministry together. Our plan and desire is to spend two years in Surprise, Arizona and to get really connected with a church. Our hearts are rooted into Europe, I cannot imagine never coming back and serving the Lord. But who knows, maybe the Lord has other plans for us. We will see what the Lord has for us at the end of these two years! 

     So here I am, 10 days away from moving to a different country, 10 days away from starting a whole new life and a whole new season. We are starting to give away our furniture and pack away our clothes. It really hit me today that we are leaving, I look at my cute little newlywed apartment on Dohany utca in the VII district, and I look at the furniture that Travis and I bought with our wedding money, and I remember all of the memories made in my first home, and I am reminded that I will be leaving it all behind. I couldn't help but get a little overwhelmed with the thought of it; I am going to miss Hungary so much. I am going to miss Cserpes milk, kakaos csiga, kurtoskulacs, and I am going to miss looking over the city at night. I am going to miss looking out my window and seeing Gelert Hill. I am going to miss the people that have become my family over the past two years. I am going to miss it so much. Although my heart is heavy and I am trying to cover up the little tears that are falling (I love how my mind decides to get emotional in the middle of the church's coffee shop...I'll blame it on pregnancy hormones), I am reminded that the Lord is faithful!! I am going back to America with so much to look forward too! I have my husband with me that will be there to keep me smiling, I am going back to his wonderful family that loves me like their own, I am going back to start my own little family! And my family is coming to the states for six months in January! God has provided EVERYTHING we need to start our lives in the states, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Through this whole transition of moving, God has had his hand in it every step of the way!

With a heavy yet hopeful heart,

Autumn

Ps- I'll write about our babymoon to Salzburg soon!

Some love for my fellow blogger friends

I have been blogging on and off for about 5 years now, and I've had about three blogs. My first blog was co-written with my best friend, Pauli Dillard during the summer before our junior years in high school. I spent the summer with her and her family in Nashville,Tennessee,easily one of the best summers of my ENTIRE life. We wrote about our adventures of the summer, and some of it is pretty darn hilarious! I highly suggest you check it out here. I had another blog that I recently deleted due to inactivity, it was my wonderful photography blog! I did a lot of very random photography in high school, but unfortunately I never had a professional camera and that really held me back...or well, it really discouraged me from pursuing it, but I have a dream of starting up again one day ! And as you know, I have this blog! This blog is my Internet based baby, I nourish it as much as time will allow, and I really put a lot of thought,effort and inspiration into this blog! But enough about me! I want to use this blog to link you to some of my favorite blogger friends! I consider these people my blogger mentors,and I am encouraged by their blogs.Therefore I will post a little bio about them and a link to their blogs,and I really encourage you to read and to follow...who knows what you could learn!

A City Shining-This blog is by my friend Rachel Titiriga, she is a fantastic photographer and a former missionary in Romania. She now lives in the states, and her blog is just encouraging. Her posts aren't that long, but her she uses her words wisely! A lot of encouraging words from this wonderful gal!

Dirt&Twirls- LOVE this woman!! This blog is by Kimberly Beller, a wife and a mom to four sweet kids. I met them when they were in Hungary as missionaries at my college, after my first semester they moved back to the states due to some pregnancy complications with their youngest, Cruz. This lady can really write, and she writes to strike the heart ( unbeknown st to herself). She writes about her life as a mother and being truly satisfied in the life that our Lord has given her. She is incredibly talented and a role model for any woman in any stage of life.

Higher Than Dreams - This blog is written by my wonderful bible college friend,Callie. Callie is basically fantastic, and she's funny,and she tells really good stories. But besides that, she really loves Jesus and her heart for missions is inspiring! This girl is sold out for Christ. She currently raising money to go to Africa for two weeks in September...so check her blog out and keep her in her prayers.( by the way...she's single ;) )

Image of the Invisible - This blog is written by Kirsten Spencer, Kirsten and her husband,Travis and their three kids are missionaries in Athens,Greece (how cool is that!?!?!?!). She writes about her life as a missionary wife/mommy, and encouraging words and promises from the Word. She also has another blog Sprouts En Route, this is a travel blog that she writes aiming towards people with small children. She has a whole lot of experience going for her as she has three kids under the of 6! HIGHLY suggested for families that do any amount of traveling, oh and she also reviews products for traveling.

Live A Life Worthy- This blog is written by my friend,Colleen. She once lived and worked with us in the Middle East. She writes beautifully, and like a true lady. I don't really have the proper words to describe her blog because it really is unique and special. But I can tell you that you know that this lady is a lover of Jesus.

Oh My Foodness - This blog is written by my Nashvillian friend, Hope! Her blog is about eating frugally and yummily, her recipes are really fantastic! She a true resourceful woman and has the Proverbs 31 stamp of approval!

Beauty from Pane - Last but very not least, this blog is by my wonderful,amazing,creative sister!!! I am constantly amazed by the things that she can create and make! She turns something simple and makes it into something jaw droppingly awesome!! She has always been able to just figure things out and as she's gotten older, she's been able to just make stuff up on her own! She hopes to open up an Esty and earn some money for college! She makes beautiful things, and I am not just saying that because she's my sister,but she is truly wonderful!


I hope you've gathered some new reading material and can meet some of my talented friends!

Much love,

Autumn Wallace

Ps- if you have a blog, let me know, I'd love to read and follow it!!

A Dream

I am not sure when I started to love blogging, but I do remember that magic happened when I discovered there was a page  on the web where I could freely write and people could read about my musings.. I have always,always,ALWAYS wanted to write a book. I would probably write it on my life as a missionary kid because oddly enough, there are very few books out there on MKs. And as a former MK, I can honestly say that we think that no one has any idea what we go through, and it would have been good to read about people that grew up just like me. I wouldn't really know how to start it, I don't even know how I would title it, or if I would have enough material to write a full book, and would people even read it? Probably Not, but then that's the thing about writing, it takes courage and trust to write properly. Because as soon as your put your heart into words that end up on a piece of paper or on a web page, you are fully subject to what anyone thinks about you. Several weeks ago, I wrote about saving your first kiss until your wedding day, and saving every ounce of your being for your spouse. Let me just say that was incredibly personal, I would tell anyone on the street who asked about my first kiss. But when it goes into the written word, it's seems almost more permanent. And I've been subjected to ridicule and judgement for saving intimacy for marriage,but I've had to learn not to care. It's the same with writing, once you've written something that is pure and true, you must back your words up with strong actions, that is something else that is a learned talent.
But back to my book, when you go home on furlough to the states as a young kid or a teenager, you're popular...to all the adults. You're asked the same questions hundreds( yes,I said hundreds) of times; "Do you like living there??""What's your favorite food?""Tell me something in (insert second language here),please!!!""Do you live in a hut? (yes,I've gotten that one)""Is everyone poor there" and you're there for three months,and still you're asked the same questions.Your head spins,you learn to smile through it and answer and re answer the questions. By the time you get home on Sunday you're spent and you're ready to nap. And most of the time, these questions are asked with pure heart, everyone is just curious about your life across the ocean, it's mysterious. Though you kind of like having attention, there is a part of you that desperately wishes to blend into the background a little bit. You wonder what it would be like to live "a normal,American life", you wonder what it would be like just to have that set group of friends, you dream about going to youth camps or getting an annual pass to Disneyland.
But as soon as you take a step back and see their cravings to travel and see the world,to experience something new, you realize that you so privileged and bless,and kick yourself for ever desiring that normal,American life that looked so tantalizing.
This is just a very small part of being a missionary kid , and as I write this my fingers want to type more. I wish I would explain to you all in one blog post about my entire life,the good,the bad,and the sometimes pretty dang ugly. But hopefully,one day, I will have enough writer's courage to sit down and  write it all down. I hope that these words(if they are supposed to be written) would be blessed and ready for the taking in.
So please pray for me as I consider writing a book...even if it's ten years from now, those words and my heart still need to be ready to share them all with you.

-Autumn

{Roasted Vegetable Pizza Sauce}

Today, I had an amazing burst of energy!! I was able to wake up on my own, which is something my preggo body LOVES right now, and I have felt all day! I was able to get a time amount of school done and do a little cleaning, it felt good to feel like a useful housewife again! So, because of my recent burst of energy, I was going to do some cooking therapy.  In the recent months, I have come to love cooking more than baking (shock-horror!) I think it is because there is more freedom, you can be a little rebellious and usually nothing goes wrong and no one gets hurt, but I think that's the inner rebellious child that never came out( thank goodness). Anyways, I noticed that some of our veggies were on the verge of being useless, and I knew that pizza would be a great use for everything. The only thing we had to buy was cheese, and Travis got a nice block, so it'll last a while! Someone had left us a jar of spaghetti sauce, and though I am not a huge fan of ready-made food, I felt that I could dress it up and put it to good use.
I started with my pizza dough, which doesn't take very long and it's an excellent recipe,but it didn't cooperate with me on it's duty to rise. I blame it on the humid but not-so-hot day that we had, but it turned out very nicely and it was pliable and wonderful,just as pizza dough should be! I started to roast some peppers,mushrooms,garlic and tomatoes. Everything was smelling lovely and the smell of the roasted peppers was overtaking my house...oh gosh was I getting so excited.
After roasting my peppers, I began to slice them and I realized they were mushier than I had expected. I then looked at these roasted peppers,and I looked back at my sizzling tomatoes,and my beautiful crispy garlic and my glorious mushroom..and I had a stoke of genius.

Roasted Pepper Sauce.

Bam.

I threw everything in the blender and added just a little bit of the jarred stuff because the veggies didn't want to blend. I threw in some salt and pepper and pulsed it a few times. It smelt lovely and tasted heavenly...this was going to be goooood!

And oh yes..it was good. It was very good.

Anyways, I thought I would share my delicious pizza sauce recipe with you and hopefully encourage you to find your inner culinary artist and make something yummy and homemade!

Much Love,

Autumn

Here's the recipe


3 to 4 bell peppers- They can be any color or variety
5 mushrooms, sliced
3 big cloves of garlic, cut into large chunks
1 small red onion ,sliced
1 large tomato,sliced medium thick!
Plain ol' tomato sauce, or the jarred stuff...whatever you have on hand is fine and you'll use a half a cup or so. Eyeball it
Salt and pepper

-Heat a large skillet or griddle for about three minutes
-Place peppers on skillet and allow to burn and soften, turn so all sides are well burnt
-Remove and set aside
- Add some olive oil and wait about 30 seconds and add your garlic and mushrooms. You want your garlic to be browned, but not black and your mushrooms should not shrivel up to nothing. Remove from pan and set aside
-Place your slice tomatoes in your pan and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Let them get a little black on both sides. Turn off stove and remove from heat
- Roughly chop your peppers and place them along with everything else in your blender, including some salt & pepper and tomato sauce.
-Pulse it up a few times and check the texture, it can be however you like it, I like mine a  o the smoother side with a feel chunks.
- Lay it on thick with on your dough, and add any toppings or cheese that suits your fancy, we used pepperoni, but chicken would be an awesome choice because it wouldn't interfere with the aroma of sauce.
-Cook for about 15-20 minutes in a very hot oven, using a spatuala you can see how brown the bottom is,it should be patchy brown.
-Share with your family and friends and you will find that they will love you forever!

Let me know how it turns out!