Transition
Two years ago when Travis professed his love ( he didn't say love, but we both knew what he was talking about :) ) he told me that he was called to be on the mission field and he knew that I would go anywhere . It's true, I would go anywhere , I lived in Romania for six years and then in Kurdistan for three years . Those transitions weren't easy, but I had been a missionary kid so I was well aware of culture shock and transitioning to a foreign culture. But going back to America has always been odd, I felt that I should fit right in, but I never did. I had friends, good friends in fact , but I always came in at awkward times , I was always 3-5 years behind in fashion, I never stayed long enough to truly get involved. I always had fun in America, we joked that it was like a three month long trip to Disneyland. But there was a daily reminder that I didn't get that pop culture joke, or I had never heard of that artist, I eventually accepted my weirdness and accepted that I was a missionary kid and not your run of the mill American teenager.
Fast forward two years , I am 21 years old ,married and 6 months pregnant, I had packed up my life in Budapest, Hungary with my husband to move to surbubia Surprise,Arizona. My life completely changed , I left my house at 7am and didn't get home until 4:30. I had to keep my house tidy,dinner had to be made, lunch prepped , the toilets scrubbed. I freaked out.
Months later, my son was born, I left my house at 6:40 got home at sometimes as late as 5. Dinner still had to be cooked,the house needed order, Jeremiah was hungry, Travis needed to be picked up. I freaked out.
This transition to America has been the hardest I have ever experienced, I've experienced loneliness and sadness like never before . It's been frustrating because there has been no reason for it and also becaus culture shock has never hit me this hard. So I spent a lot of my time yearning for Europe, I wanted to get out . I wanted to not know the language , I wanted to take public transportation, I want to search for a random ingredient at the store. I miss the rich culture and history , I missed the trendy and unique restaurants. I missed everything and I felt hopeless because I knew that I would not be returning anytime soon. A few weeks ago I was reminded that I was the woman who followed The Lord, the woman who followed her husband . And as I had been called to be that woman, I had to be faithful to follow my husband to the mission field of America . The Lord has called us here with a purpose in mid and if that requires me to get uncomfortable and be a light in America,than that is what I need to do.
Jesus be my strength.
