How Jeremiah made me a mom.

On the very hot summer day , I saw those two little lines on an oddly peach colored  pee stick . In that moment I became a mother .

My whole body, my whole being was invested in growing this human.

I was a mother.


A little less than nine months later , in the middle of the night , I woke Travis .

It was time.

The contractions were intense. I focused on the stained glass on the ceiling . Travis coached me through , my mom was on a plane on her way, and my mother in law spooned me ice chips .

This was it, I thought .

You were finally going to be in my arms.

You are about to make me a mother .

One more push and there you were , naked,slick,screaming, and totally cute.

You snuggled on my chest , we were taking each other in.

We all were crying,you were so beautiful and perfect.

And we named you Jeremiah.

YAHWEH has uplifted

In that moment, you made me a mom.

Of course, I dressed you,changed you, fed you , snuggled you for as long as you'd let me.

Oh Jeremiah ,you made me a mom.

I've watched you grow from an itty bitty 4 pounds 8 ounces to a healthy and wonderful little toddler.

I saw you roll over for the first time.

I saw your first smile .

I saw you standing in your crib, waiting with a smile , looking so proud .

I get to see how mischievous smile when you cause trouble .

You made me a mom .

I really thought I would spend my life as a mom teaching you .

But I was wrong .

You've spent your first year teaching me.

Seeing all kinds of needles ,tubes and oxygen going into your body , you've taught me to be brave .

Seeing you through blood draws and blood transfusions , you've taught me to let nothing keep you down .

Jeremiah , I am so thankful that our God gave me to you .

I get to be your mom .

I get to hold you when you fall down.

I get to get you ready for your first day of school

I get to watch you play sports .

I get to deal with your teenage boy years .

I get to watch you marry and have children of your own

I get to see you make your dreams come true .

I get to see you love and follow Jesus .


I just love being your mom .


And I love you .

Other Mothers

Other Mothers

I remember the day we announced our pregancy with Jeremiah , it was such a joyful time for us. We were newlyweds, we were excited, and we had absolutely no idea what we were doing . I remember receiving so much wonderful advice and wisdom from men and women who cared for us . Most of whom were once young parents themselves, they wanted to impart any guidance in the journey we were about to take. Travis and I greatly appreciated this advice , we listened with open hearts and minds. I was thankful for wisdom, in the ten months I have been a mom I had hidden that advice in my heart and mind and applied it to myself and how I mother Jeremiah . However , when you are sick and pukey , you read a lot about babies . I read about everyone's opions, I read about breastfeeding , attachment parenting, cloth diapering, disposable diapers, co sleeping, CIO, swaddling , cribs,pacifiers , homemade baby food, formula , pre and post natal yoga, eating one's placenta,inducing labor or spontaneous labor. I pretty much read everything, we decided as a couple what would and wouldn't work for us , that was fairly easy .I will tell you what wasn't easy , reading and hearing about what was right and if you didn't do it that way, you were a horrible parent. I had someone tell me if we used a baby bjorn carrier that our son would have hip dysplaysia, people questioned if our son was conceived before our wedding ( yes, someone had the nerve to ask, and in case you were wondering he was not!) , I was told that if I didn't have a natrual birth that wasn't that much of woman, I was told that if I didn't breastfeed my baby I wasn't mom enough . I was appalled, I had to see if this was a thing, did mothers go around to other mothers telling them "the way" to do things and if it wasn't that way, than you are a total failure . I was shocked at how mean women are to each other , instead of coming alongside a young mom who needs encouragement and support, we set them up for failure. I think that most moms feel insecure , I know that I do at times, so sometimes moms feel the need to bully other moms so we feel the need to make ourselves feel bigger while making someone else feel smaller. Why can't we as mothers simply come together and encourage one another,no matter what we choose to do as parents.

Moms, please encourage one another! If you see a mom who is tired and worn out, tell her it sit down ! Bring her dinner, pay for her coffee, hold her baby so she can sleep, take her young kids to the park so she can pee in peace.



-Autumn

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.


1 Thessalonians 5:11

I've got a lot

As many of you know, Jeremiah was diagnosed with a blood disorder in May.  Besides his red blood cell count being low, needing monthly blood transfusions, and being slightly (just slightly) behind his peers when it comes to physical development he is a very healthy, very happy boy! Every five weeks or so, we go to Phoenix Children’s Hospital, we wait in the waiting room, Jeremiah has a blood draw and gets in IV. We wait in the infusion area, we get blood, and we go home. Our life goes on quite happily and I am very, very grateful. But when you are in an Oncology/Hematology department, there are a lot of things you see that break your heart. You see little toddlers and juniors in high school cuddled up in a blanket near their parents as chemo runs in their veins. You see bald little girls and bald little boys with tired and worried parents. You see kids check themselves in because they live in the Ronald McDonald house; you see them doing their homework they get from the school next door because they can’t go to regular school. Their best friends are doctors, nurses and volunteers. You see two 19 year olds with their itty-bitty baby getting plasma.

And you realize… that you got a lot, a good lot.

Thank you Jesus for the lot you’ve given me.

Where you go, I will follow : a little on my transition back to America.

Transition

Two years ago when Travis professed his love ( he didn't say love, but we both knew what he was talking about :) ) he told me that he was called to be on the mission field and he knew that I would go anywhere . It's true, I would go anywhere , I lived in Romania for six years and then in Kurdistan for three years . Those transitions weren't easy, but I had been a missionary kid so I was well aware of culture shock and transitioning to a foreign culture. But going back to America has always been odd, I felt that I should fit right in, but I never did. I had friends, good friends in fact , but I always  came in at awkward times , I was always 3-5 years behind in fashion, I never stayed long enough to truly get involved. I always had fun in America, we joked that it was like a three month long trip to Disneyland. But there was a daily reminder that I didn't get that pop culture joke, or I had never heard of that artist, I eventually accepted my weirdness and accepted that I was a missionary kid and not your run of the mill American teenager.

Fast forward two years , I am 21 years old ,married and 6 months pregnant, I had packed up my life in Budapest, Hungary with my husband to move to surbubia Surprise,Arizona. My life completely changed , I left my house at 7am and didn't get home until 4:30. I had to keep my house tidy,dinner had to be made, lunch prepped , the toilets scrubbed. I freaked out.
Months later, my son was born, I left my house at 6:40 got home at sometimes as late as 5. Dinner still had to be cooked,the house needed order, Jeremiah was hungry, Travis needed to be picked up. I freaked out.
This transition to America has been the hardest I have ever experienced, I've experienced loneliness and sadness like never before . It's been frustrating because there has been no reason for it and also becaus culture shock has never hit me this hard. So I spent a lot of my time yearning for Europe, I wanted to get out . I wanted to not know the language , I wanted to take public transportation, I want to search for a random ingredient at the store. I miss the rich culture and history , I missed the trendy and unique restaurants. I missed everything and I felt hopeless because I knew that I would not be returning anytime soon. A few weeks ago I was reminded that I was the woman who followed The Lord, the woman who followed her husband . And as I had been called to be that woman, I had to be faithful to follow my husband to the mission field of America . The Lord has called us here with a purpose in mid and if that requires me to get uncomfortable and be a light in America,than that is what I need to do.

Jesus be my strength.

The reason and not the excuse...a word about my new mom body.

The reason and not the excuse ...a few words on the "mom" body.

Before I got pregnant , I had the body of the average woman. I was 5'4,145 pounds and a size 8-10( depending on the store). I have always had body image issues, many of my friends weighed less and were a few inches taller , they had incredible genes which gave them an incredible metabolism. I was pretty jealous until I went to college and got to busy and I focused my mind on Jesus rather than being in vain about my body . A year and a half later , I was married, I had lost about 5 lbs before my wedding because I was busy with school and spent a lot of time on my feet. Three weeks after my wedding , I got pregnant and for the first few months I gained hardly anything . And then we moved to America just in time for the holidays...and thus started the downward slope. The day I gave birth to Jeremiah, I weighed in at ( inhale) 210 pounds... I wanted to sob. Now here I am three months later at 180, and I still avoid cameras,mirrors and shopping . I hate my body. I miss not having love handles . I miss my flat tummy. I just miss my old body

Now.

I would not trade my son for anything, no amount of stretch marks can make me wish his smiles away. No ache could make me wish the sparkle in his eyes when he discovers away. I know my body will never fully be the same, and I am still coming to terms with this , but that does not need to be the excuse. It needs to be the reason

But I am done with my current state , I want to be healthy and strong. I want to be proud of this masterpiece that God has created. I want my son to know that eating healthy is to be a way of life and not a passing fad. I want him to know that by exercising and putting good things in our bodies,we are honoring our temple.

I have never been a fan of sharing workouts on Facebook , I follow the rule of "unless you fell down on the treadmill, I really don't want to hear about it". But I do want to share my progress and I want this endeavor to be God- honoring, I want to share my progress because I want to be kept accountable and I want and need encouragement in this journey. If any of you want to be my accountability partner, please let me know. As for diet, I am going to eat crazy stuff like chia seeds and flax, I'll eat loads of fruits and veggies, I am going to cut out processed junk as much as possible and when I do have a treat, it'll be homemade. I am not interested in any fad diet . Just good ol' fashioned good eating and getting my lazy booty off the couch!


Thanks for your support !

Much love,

Autumn

The Best Kid Ever : Jeremiah

Jeremiah

So, many of you have been asking about Jeremiah and his condition , I want to describe his condition so you know exactly what he has and how you can pray for Him ! But first I want to tell you about Jeremiah and the fact that we are positive we have the best kid ever !

Jeremiah loves
His play-mat that Grandma and Grandpa Wallace got him , he loves kicking the piano keyboard.
He recently has started this obsession with silky and fuzzy blankets, he loves the burp rags that his Auntie Em and Grandma Keenan made him!
He loves playing patty cake! I shouldn't be surprise because cake is his Daddy's favorite food.
He loves it when Dax licks his face...they will be good buds!
He has started to stand and he loves this new vantage point
Hanging out in the pool with grandpa.

Jeremiah dislikes

Taking baths.
Putting on lotion.
Anything that involves hygiene really, typical boy !
Being with mom after 7:30pm, he gets bored with me and needs his daddy!
 When a fan doesn't work or isn't turned on!

Jeremiah has more loves than hates, my little boy loves life and he is so full of joy! In fact he is really good at spreading that joy, I babies have that gift, I believe it is a God-given gift. Every day I look at my son and I am in awe, Travis and I cannot imagine our lives without him.We both agree that he is the best surprise we've ever had!
A lot of you are asking about his blood transfusions and his condition. Jeremiah was diagnosed at 6 weeks with Hereditary Spheryophytosis, this is a blood disorder where his RBCs( red blood cells) are oblong where they should be shaped like doughnuts. It is because of this that the RBCs break down and he gets very anemic,thus the need for blood transfusion. Jeremiah goes to Phoenix Children's Hospital every 2-3 weeks or so, he has an amazing team of doctors and nurses that know and love him. He is rather popular :) A blood transfusion itself isn't really painful, although getting an IV is really awful, but PCH has a really,really good IV team. A blood transfusion takes about three hours and he is usually sleeping for most of it. Another question we are asked often is if his spleen needs to be removed , the answer ? Time will tell, it is because we caught this early on and he is getting frequent blood transfusions ,his spleen isn't being overworked. In most cases,kids are diagnosed until they are 2-5 so by that time their spleen is just overworked and done. However, we are told that if they can wait until after puberty the problem just corrects itself! We are hoping we get to wait until then or that he will be healed of it completely ! We know this is possible because my husband stopped showing signs at 3! I firmly believe that Jesus can heal my son, because he is the Great Physician and all-powerful. But I also believe that Jesus is using my son in a mighty way in that hospital ,having there on a fairly consistent basis means that we have the opportunity to talk about our lives and our relationship with Jesus!
So, I want to ask for your prayer for our family, please pray that Jeremiah's strength would be increased. Please pray that the medical staff would ask questions and be interested in our life. Pray for God's grace as we accept His will and plan for our life as a couple, as a family and for Jeremiah .

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Much love,

Autumn  

The Parent

Parenting 

( disclaimer - Travis and I discuss any peice of advice we receive, however parenting is different for everyone , so I hope you won't think I am close minded just some methods wouldn't work for us as a couple and as a family unit )

Being a parent is hard . Being a young parent is  nerve-wracking. Being a first time parent is stressful and confusing. Everywhere you turn there is someone telling you that you're doing it wrong . There have been days where I will be questioning my intelligence or competence because of some comment someone made about a decision I've made as a parent. I can honestly say I've ended most of my days asking myself "do people think I am an idiot?!?" But I've learned something ... Parenting has changed over the years. I have had conversations with my mom and my grandma in law,  the things they did 20 and 50 years , I questioned how we survived . Our grandmas added honey to baby cereal, and they would start giving baby cereal at 6 weeks !! But that's how parenting is, it changes and shifts over time .  

Now, in my generation of parenting, they are saying that those cereals aren't the best option, gluten should be avoided!   I've done research on the subject and I will say that we don't plan to give Jeremiah cereals, we will start with an avocado . Am I worried what people will think and say ? You bet! But I feel that is the best option for our son. As a parent you have to be confidence and pray that you are following God's leading in you being a parent. The way we will discipline and train our son  will differ from the way  that you might have taught your kids and that's okay because that you are you! In fact, I am thankful that not all parents are the same... It keeps things interesting and I like interesting.

So, my advice dear reader... To the new parent, keep your hearts and minds open there is some true wisdom out there. To the veteran parent, keep in mind that there are some new-fangled ( and crazy, I'll admit) ideas in parenting, bear with us, we are just learning and we need your encouragement to just love in the best way we can and of course to just keep our ears open for Jesus.