It's a blustery night in my town of Vajta,Hungary and it's 30 minutes until curfew, so the castle is falling asleep and resting for another day.
Two of my schoolmates are leaving, one is my roommate, the other my next-door-neighbor-who-became-my-roommate. I know both of these girls are sensitive to God's voice and will for their lives, and I know that they are following God's calling. As a believer, you can hardly be sad about these things because you know it's God's desire. But on the other hand, you will miss the sweet fellowship and the oneness you shared while you were together.
This weekend, my grandma Suzy who has been battling lung cancer since November passed away. I wasn't sure what to think when I heard the news, I felt anger,sadness,disbelief,shock, but those emotions were quickly overcome with peace.
I almost don't know what to feel yet, I think it is because I am so very far away from the drama and finality of it all. But emotions will come, they will come when I least expect it, and I know, that without a doubt that they will hit hard.
I am going to miss my grandma. I am going to miss her laugh, the large lung capacity when she got silly. I will miss the fact that she was a silly grandma in general and always ready to have fun.
I will miss you Grandma, and you are in my heart as I write this .
As these next few months will be filled with emotions, ups and the downs. Bear with me,keep me in prayer, and ask that I will write with wisdom and exhortation.
Much love,
Autie
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Just this past week my Grandma called to tell me that one of my dearest friends, Mrs Toni, died. She was one of the funniest and most vibrant ladies I have ever known. At 94 she had more of that "spark" than most twenty year olds I know! I remember laughing untill tears ran down our eyes when she nonchalauntly told me how she broke her hip trying to chase down a cute bus driver (she thought that sounded so much more interesting than slipping trying to get into the tub)and then the time she flirted with the cute "sounding" tellimarketer for over 20 minutes trying to get his home number till HE hung up on her! I knew she wasn't doing well of late and had been kept aware of her worsening condition. I totaly expected to feel my world crumble around me when the worst came and yet I just felt so much the way you described... simply numb. Almost like it wasn't really real, like being so far away I can somehow just not think about it and it won't have happened. To be ever present with the Lord was her greatest desire in life... I just hope we get to be roomies in heaven cause if she was so much fun here, stuck in a body too old for her I can't wait to see her finaly free!
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